Run your own race

Whilst waiting for the traffic lights to turn green, Charlene in her 1995 run down Fiat Uno reminded herself to slow down as her fuel gauge was now a bright scarlet red. You need to reduce your speed, she told herself, so as to save fuel. Remember, you've only got a paltry $100 to last you till the end of the month. She remembered that her salary of $800 could only take her so far and that thought alone made her loathe her job. Just then, her cousin Robert drove beside her in his brand spanking new Chevrolet.

He was doing well in his life. He was the Regional Manager of the biggest telecoms giant in the country, was married to a beautiful wife, had a son named George and a daughter on the way. He was living the life, Charlene thought and at that moment, she felt a lump in her throat as she became green with envy. You see, Charlene and Robert were the same age, in fact they had grown up together. They had both received a sound education and were both well connected. So what had gone wrong, she thought? Why is that Robert is so successful, while I'm down in the dumps, unmarried and unfulfilled.

After briefly exchanging pleasantries, the traffic light turned green and Robert sped off leaving Charlene in the dust. She had definitely lost this race and she felt like she was losing the race of life too.

Charlene felt a wave of depression come over her as she pondered on this. She was knee deep in what has been termed "the rate race" and she was losing.

The rat race is the endless pursuit in life to be the better than everyone else and achieve more than your competitors. It is often a pointless, futile and self-defeating effort.

So why do people get caught up in "The Rat Race"? Why do humans so often compare themselves to others?

The answer to that question is that our society is a competitive one --- competition to be the best, smartest, richest, most recognized, most beautiful, have the biggest house, fastest car and most possessions and even have the most Facebook friends and Instagram followers. The list goes on and on.

Most of us understand the foolishness of comparing ourselves to others. We would readily admit that no good ever comes from it, yet we do it all the time.

Now, don't get me wrong, I don't want to confuse comparison with inspiration. It's awesome to be inspired by the things we see and the people we meet, but when when the inspiration turns to comparison resulting in us putting ourselves down or beating ourselves up because we are not like the ideal we have in our heads, then we've got a problem.

You see, comparison robs you of your joy. Comparing yourself to others will always cause you to regret what you aren't, rather than allow you to enjoy who you are. It more often than not, steals the joy and happiness that is within your reach.

Comparing prevents us from fully living our lives. It causes us to envy someone else's life and seek theirs rather than our own. It robs us of our most precious possession: life itself.

Moreover, competing in the rat race leads to one of two results. Either, you end up on the short end of stick and you needlessly suffer or you reach the top, yet to what end and so what? There are many sad stories of people reaching the top or having the most and they are still not satisfied and happier than ever before.

We often see a split second of someone's life and think that they have it all together but one snapshot in time never tells the full story.

According to Max Ehrmann in his poem, The Desiderata of Happiness, "If you compare yourself with others, you may become vain or bitter; for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself"

Isn't this the truth? If you compare yourself with someone else and you conclude that you are better than he or she, you puff yourself up. If you compare yourself with another and you come up short, you get depressed and discouraged and even bitter.

Consequently, Max Erhmann concludes his poem by advising us to instead “enjoy your achievements, as well as your plans" or as I have paraphrased it, to run your own race.

After work that day, Charlene decided to pay her mother a visit to let off some steam after that morning's incident. Her mother, the ever wise owl in the family encouraged Charlene to focus on running her own race, rather than the rat race.

Don't compare yourself to Robert, Charlene. Run your own race. Comparisons put the focus on the wrong person, she advised. Remember you can only control one life -yours! When we consisitently compare ourselves to others, we waste precious energy focusing on other peoples lives rather than our own.

Charlene realized just then that that she actually had a lot going for her. For starters, she was alive when many her age had long gone, she was healthy, intelligent, was part of a wonderful family and had recently joined the Toastmasters club which she found exhilirating.

She had also always wanted to be her own boss, and her small online retail business was beginning to pick up. Hopefully, it would start generating enough income so that she could quit her job. And come to think of it, she wasn't really a fan of Chevrolet anyway, Chevys were too big for a her liking. Her dream car was a mini-cooper! She realized that all the things she had envied about her cousin Robert, she actually didn't want. She was unique with her own tastes and desires.

Bill Gates, the billionaire founder of Microsoft affirms that by comparing ourselves to others, we insult ourselves. Do not undermine your worth by comparing yourself to others. It is because we are different that each of us is special.

Don't waste your time on jealousy. Sometime's you're ahead, sometimes you're behind. The race is long and in the end, it's only with yourself.

To illustrate, in horseracing, horses are trained to run their own race. Horses are made to wear blinkers so that they do not see what is happening behind or beside them. Running their own race makes them faster, more energetic and more focused.

Realize therefore, that life is not a competition, and remember that no-one is perfect. All you can do is stay in your lane, not look at the others horses and run your race.

Popcorns are prepared in the same pot, under the same heat, in the same oil; but don't pop at the exact same time. Just wait for your time. You will pop!

Celebrate your strengths. Celebrate who you are. There are many wonderful things about your life . You are an artist...or a businessman...or a mother...or a good listener...or a generous soul. You have so much to celebrate and are entirely unique.

Each person walks a journey unique to himself or herself. Live your own journey and run your own race. Stop comparing your life and start living it.

Commit to your dreams, move towards them and you will get to the finish line!